Before labeling someone "difficult", diagnose the specific type: are they anxious, ignored, or genuinely conflicted in interest?

Imagine a friend in the same situation — what would you tell them? Tell yourself.

"People deserve what happens to them" — test on people you love.

Each quarter, ask 6 people around you the same 3 open questions about your performance.

Give the other person five full minutes of attention with no interruption or advice, then summarize what you heard.

After hearing your partner, reflect back three sentences: content, feeling, and underlying value.

Sit in your chair, then mentally move to the other person's chair and retell the situation from their view.

Invent at least three plausible reasons for a behavior that upset you, before you judge.

Name your speaker's feeling and confirm it is reasonable, before you propose any solution.

Silently repeat four well-wishes toward a person who upsets you, even if you do not feel it at first.

Do not say "I know how you feel". Name the feeling with a precise word and verify it.

When he complains, don't solve — listen, empathize, ask "what do you need from me?".

Before judging behavior, imagine context from other's view for 30 sec.

When acts oddly, ask "why did he do that?" with curiosity not critique.

Starting assumption: "people do their best with what they have".

Listen to understand not prep your reply — shifts every conversation.

Think of someone you disagree with: imagine childhood, pains, dreams.

When triggered, ask self: "what unmet human need?".

Weekly, pray well for someone who wronged you — you're freed before he knows.

When he opens sensitive topic, say "tell me more" vs reply.

Say: "your feelings make sense" — even if you disagree with behavior.

In deep grief, your silent presence deeper than 1000 advice.

Don't try to "fix" friend's feelings — be a well that holds, not a tissue that wipes.

Compress any project into one page: why, what, who, when, success looks like...

For each task and person: R responsible, A accountable, C consulted, I informed.

A 7-sentence formula that conveys a task clearly enough that the employee won't come back with "what did you mean?"

For each task, set the autonomy level (1: tell me before → 5: decide alone).

Identify 5-7 tasks that must stay with you, so you delegate everything else with peace.

Before delegating a sensitive task, map who must know and who must agree.

Imagine the project failed entirely a year from now; list 7 plausible reasons before starting.

After each phase: what happened? What did we expect? Why the gap? How do we learn?

A 7-milestone Gantt on one page — visible, instantly grokkable.

A living table of every project risk: probability, impact, owner, action.

For each task estimate: optimistic, most-likely, pessimistic — then compute expected.

Identify when the project becomes uncancelable — decide before, not after.

Classify every commitment: fixed (must), negotiable (should), optional (could).

Before launch, write a "press release" as if it succeeded — making the win tangible.

Per task: who Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, Informed — no duplication for first two.

Per decision type: who proposes, decides, consulted, informed.

Per issue type: when resolved at current level, when escalates up.

Each team member: annual signature on disclosure of relationships affecting decisions.

Don't pick vendor "by gut" — score on 6 dimensions with weights, pick by points.

Good RFP defines what you need precisely + selection criteria — not "send anything".

90 days into contract: review with vendor — don't wait for renewal to find issues.

First hour of crisis: who to inform, what to say, how.

Each stakeholder: place in quadrant (high/low power × high/low interest) — each quadrant has strategy.

Who influences whom? — draw network to know "who talks to whom to shift decision".

Per key stakeholder: what to send, when, via which channel, what to expect.

Project first meeting: explicit expectations — scope, date, quality, comms, alarms.

When stakeholder A wants X, B wants opposite: don't pick — surface underlying interests.

Your boss has little time, many concerns — use 4 principles to be a smart stakeholder.

Ask 8 people around you 3 questions: what do I do well? what should I stop? what would you stop me from doing if you saw?

Use a 4-part frame (Fact, Context, Impact, Path forward) to deliver hard news without sugarcoating or panic.

Every difficult behavior hides an unmet need — practice the question that reveals it instead of judging it.

Let reality teach your child when safe — stronger than any imposed punishment.

A small act of kindness your child plans weekly — builds the moral brain early.