Before labeling someone "difficult", diagnose the specific type: are they anxious, ignored, or genuinely conflicted in interest?

When your emotion doesn't serve the situation, do the opposite of what it pushes you to.

Name feeling (sad, angry) — without "I'm bad" or "this is wrong".

Replace vague "good job" with specific praise describing: what he did, impact, why it matters.

Instead of "I want to run a marathon", say "I'm a runner" — identity drives behavior.

Don't target "$100K this year" — target "3 sales calls daily".

Each month, write 3 behaviors to start, 3 to stop, 3 to continue.

Write four sentences: Describe the behavior, Express the impact, Specify the change, Consequences.

Instead of "be better", request "reply to my message within 24h".

In tough confrontation: Describe-Express-Specify-Consequence — four sentences resolve.

Describe, Express, Specify, Consequence — a template to disarm any recurring quarrel.

In fights, "you always..." is a no-return point. Swap with "today I noticed...".

When pulse passes 100, call a 20-min time-out — physiology needs time.

After a fight, don't wait — a small repair gesture within 24h saves the bond.

Deep in conflict, ask: "What is the shared need we are both trying to meet?"

Name the act, acknowledge impact, commit to change, ask for repair — an apology that mends.

Count vendors per category — consolidating 2 similar drops price 15-25%.

Don't pick vendor "by gut" — score on 6 dimensions with weights, pick by points.

Good RFP defines what you need precisely + selection criteria — not "send anything".

Before signing: 12 red flags that may cost thousands later.

90 days into contract: review with vendor — don't wait for renewal to find issues.

Before renewing expensive vendor: compute real switch cost — may be less than you think.

Before signing: exit options? notice? penalties? data handoff?

When stakeholder A wants X, B wants opposite: don't pick — surface underlying interests.

4 steps: Describe (situation), Express (impact), Specify (change), Consequences (outcomes).

Teams with high psychological safety perform 4x better. This exercise measures and raises it in your team.

A small "innocent" comment wounds an employee. Your job as leader: interrupt immediately, respectfully, without trial.

Review your team's last 20 decisions (promotion, project, leave). Who gained? Who lost? Pattern reveals bias.

Your small leader words exclude or include. 10 simple swaps shift your team's culture in 60 days.

When joining a new manager (or they join you), give them YOUR user manual. How you work best? What annoys? What you need?

Manager crossed a line or made an error affecting you. DESC: Describe, Express, Specify, Consequence. Each in a sentence.

You decided to leave. The last 30 days define your reputation for 10 years. This frame protects bridges.

When sensing conflict of interest, declare it before discussion begins.

Practice refusing an unethical request clearly and respectfully — before you must in reality.

When you wrong your child, fully apologize: what you did, its impact, the change.

Identify 5 feelings that make you open phone. Per feeling, alternative plan pre-touch.

Don't ask AI "write in author X's style". That = using their commercial style sans permission.