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Four-Part Apology

Name the act, acknowledge impact, commit to change, ask for repair — an apology that mends.

12 min Advanced

Goal

Transform a hollow "sorry" into an apology that rebuilds trust.

Steps

  1. 1
    1 — Name the act precisely: "I apologize for raising my voice yesterday in front of your friends".
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Expected Outcome

Immediate
He feels seen — not that you apologize just to end the topic.

Evidence base

School: Apology Research

Founders: Aaron Lazare · Harriet Lerner (2004)

Lazare — On Apology: the four elements are necessary for an effective apology.

Keywords

Frequently asked questions

How long does "Four-Part Apology" take?
This exercise takes about 12 minutes, practiced with another person in a Inner dialogue format.
When will I notice the effect of "Four-Part Apology"?
He feels seen — not that you apologize just to end the topic. In the short term: Trust returns in a week not weeks.
Is "Four-Part Apology" evidence-based?
Yes — it draws on Apology Research (Aaron Lazare, Harriet Lerner (2004)). Lazare — On Apology: the four elements are necessary for an effective apology.
Is "Four-Part Apology" suitable for beginners?
Its difficulty level is: Advanced. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.

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