Don't hoard feedback until annual review — give within 24 hours of event.

Deliver effective feedback in 3 parts (Situation—Behavior—Impact) so the other person hears you without defensiveness.

Phrase every feedback in 3 sentences: situation, specific behavior, impact — no interpretation.

Sort your feedback on care personally × challenge directly — sweet spot: high in both.

Write four sentences: Describe the behavior, Express the impact, Specify the change, Consequences.

Repeat the same refusal in the same words calmly, no matter how the other person reshapes the pressure.

Say no in three sentences: thanks, refusal, closing — with no "sorry" or justification.

Memorize one 7-word refusal sentence and rehearse it until it emerges automatically under pressure.

Say "no, I can't" — complete sentence. No explanation, no apology.

When criticized, ask: "what specifically in X bothers you?" — forces clarity.

French/Dutch tolerate direct critique; East-Asian needs it wrapped.

Anonymously ask Edmondson's three questions to score your team's psychological safety.

Prep your 1-on-1 with SBI + GROW: situation, behavior, impact, then open GROW questions.

Write a specific SBI thank-you to one colleague every day for two weeks.

End every meeting with: what worked (+) and what we change next time (Δ).

After any delegated task completes, deliver feedback in Situation-Behavior-Impact format.

Last 3 minutes: what worked? What do we improve next meeting?

Frame feedback in 3 sentences: Situation, Behavior, Impact — strips bias, refocuses on behavior.

A 2×2: "Care Personally × Challenge Directly". Know which quadrant you're in with each report.

30 min with a top performer, 5 questions on "why you stay and why you might leave" before they actually consider leaving.

Ask 8 people around you 3 questions: what do I do well? what should I stop? what would you stop me from doing if you saw?

4 steps: Describe (situation), Express (impact), Specify (change), Consequences (outcomes).

After the model answers, ask it to critique its own answer and improve it before final delivery.