When a member delivers excellent results but destroys team morale, separate performance from behavior via a clear standard and a direct honest conversation.

When your emotion doesn't serve the situation, do the opposite of what it pushes you to.

5 deep breaths before stage — calms nervous system.

Replace vague "good job" with specific praise describing: what he did, impact, why it matters.

Instead of "I want to run a marathon", say "I'm a runner" — identity drives behavior.

Don't target "$100K this year" — target "3 sales calls daily".

Treat every 12 weeks as a full year — execute in 3 months what others take 12 months.

Each month, write 3 behaviors to start, 3 to stop, 3 to continue.

Write four sentences: Describe the behavior, Express the impact, Specify the change, Consequences.

In tough confrontation: Describe-Express-Specify-Consequence — four sentences resolve.

Practice sentences that separate your love from your child's performance — love isn't earned or withdrawn.

Identify 5 feelings that make you open phone. Per feeling, alternative plan pre-touch.