Before solving any problem, ask: do we need an expert with a ready answer (technical), or do the people themselves need to change (adaptive)?

Hour before sleep: no blue light, no screens — body makes melatonin.

Define your Best Alternative before negotiating so you never accept a deal worse than what you already have.

Don't cling to position — find interest beneath. Flexibility without yielding.

Before negotiation, imagine opponent with all pressures — empathize.

Frame every proposal: "we both win by..." — extinguishes competition.

Wonder Woman pose 2 min before — raises testosterone.

Before giving feedback, ask recipient what type of feedback they want this week.

After every answer, ask follow-up — doubles social liking 2x.

When acts oddly, ask "why did he do that?" with curiosity not critique.

Don't analyze a problem from your desk. Go where it happens and observe 30 minutes before suggesting a fix.

Go to the workplace, observe yourself, ask "why" 3 times, don't intervene.

Measure with 7 questions whether your team feels safe to tell truths, ask questions, admit mistakes.

3 triggers reject valid feedback: Truth, Relationship, Identity. Know which fires in you.

3 conversations within every difficult one: "what happened", "feelings", "identity". Separate them and succeed.

Classify your problem: technical (known solution) or adaptive (requires shifting minds and values)? Confusing them is leadership failure #1.

Every difficult behavior hides an unmet need — practice the question that reveals it instead of judging it.

Practice sentences that separate your love from your child's performance — love isn't earned or withdrawn.

Instead of imposing a fix, collaborate with your child to solve concerns of both — Ross Greene method.

Sit beside your child during homework, don't solve for him. Your presence = support, not completion.

Prep IEP meeting with 3 documents + 5 questions + calm stance — no flare-ups.

Yelled at your child? Repair within 24h with 4 sentences rescues relationship more than "never yelling."

Not a "punishment corner" but a positive space the child chooses himself to regulate his emotions — the difference is decisive.