Public preview
Anatomy of a Difficult Conversation (Stone & Heen)
3 conversations within every difficult one: "what happened", "feelings", "identity". Separate them and succeed.
Goal
Beat confusion in hard conversations by separating 3 layers. Each layer has its own tool.
Steps
-
1
Understand 3: 1) "What happened" conversation (facts, intent, blame), 2) "Feelings" conversation (what I felt, what they felt), 3) "Identity" conversation (what does this mean about me?).
Expected Outcome
Immediate
You discover the hard conversation you thought was "facts" was actually "identity".
Evidence base
School: Harvard Negotiation Project
Founders: Douglas Stone · Bruce Patton · Sheila Heen (1999)
Coined by Stone, Patton, Heen in "Difficult Conversations" (1999). Foundation of Harvard Negotiation Project (Fisher & Ury). Sold 1M+ copies.
Keywords
Frequently asked questions
How long does "Anatomy of a Difficult Conversation (Stone & Heen)" take?
This exercise takes about 30 minutes, practiced solo in a Written reflection format.
When will I notice the effect of "Anatomy of a Difficult Conversation (Stone & Heen)"?
You discover the hard conversation you thought was "facts" was actually "identity". In the short term: Within 3 conversations, you avoid 3 mistakes that would have ruined relationships.
Is "Anatomy of a Difficult Conversation (Stone & Heen)" evidence-based?
Yes — it draws on Harvard Negotiation Project (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen (1999)). Coined by Stone, Patton, Heen in "Difficult Conversations" (1999). Foundation of Harvard Negotiation Project (Fisher & Ury). Sold 1M+ copies.
Is "Anatomy of a Difficult Conversation (Stone & Heen)" suitable for beginners?
Its difficulty level is: Advanced. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.
Subscribe for full access
Subscribe to Plus for full access to this practice and the whole catalogue, or try first — free, no sign-in, no commitment.
7 complete practices (one per domain) are free forever, no sign-in.