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Search for the skill or situation you want to work on, such as focus, negotiation, or setting boundaries. Open a practice to read its steps before choosing what suits you.
11 results (expanded search) for "defensive"
Leadership
Feedforward Coaching
Instead of feedback on the past, ask reports for future suggestions — less defensiveness, higher application.
Leadership
Diagnosing Your Reaction to Feedback
3 triggers reject valid feedback: Truth, Relationship, Identity. Know which fires in you.
Professional
SBI Model
Phrase every feedback in 3 sentences: situation, specific behavior, impact — no interpretation.
Social
Build an I-Statement in Four Parts
Frame your stance as: "When [behavior] I feel [feeling] because I need [value] and I request [ask]".
Parenting
Social Media Curiosity Talk
Instead of "platforms harm you", ask curiously: "what do you enjoy most? what bothers you?"
Professional
SBI Feedback Model
Deliver effective feedback in 3 parts (Situation—Behavior—Impact) so the other person hears you without defensiveness.
Professional
Calibrated Questions (Voss)
Ask with "how" and "what" not "why" — opponent solves your problem.
Social
"I-Statement"
Instead of "you always...", say "I feel ... when X happens".
Social
Fogging
When unjustly criticized, agree partially vs confront: "true I was late".
Parenting
I-Message Instead of You-Message
Replace "you always forget" with "I feel worried when..." — Thomas Gordon's classic formula.
Professional
Difficult Feedback Rehearsal
Before tough talk, role-play as recipient and respond to your script — uncover blow-up points.