When acts oddly, ask "why did he do that?" with curiosity not critique.

When your emotion doesn't serve the situation, do the opposite of what it pushes you to.

Replace vague "good job" with specific praise describing: what he did, impact, why it matters.

Instead of "I want to run a marathon", say "I'm a runner" — identity drives behavior.

Don't target "$100K this year" — target "3 sales calls daily".

Each month, write 3 behaviors to start, 3 to stop, 3 to continue.

After hearing your partner, reflect back three sentences: content, feeling, and underlying value.

Before any reply, summarize your speaker's argument and verify with them you got it before disagreeing.

Write four sentences: Describe the behavior, Express the impact, Specify the change, Consequences.

Sit in your chair, then mentally move to the other person's chair and retell the situation from their view.

Paraphrase what you heard before responding — speaker confirms you heard.

In tough confrontation: Describe-Express-Specify-Consequence — four sentences resolve.

Listen to understand not prep your reply — shifts every conversation.

Before refuting an opposing view, write its strongest version honestly.

Ask the model to question you instead of answering, surfacing and deepening your understanding.

Identify 5 feelings that make you open phone. Per feeling, alternative plan pre-touch.