Say: "your feelings make sense" — even if you disagree with behavior.

When your emotion doesn't serve the situation, do the opposite of what it pushes you to.

Replace vague "good job" with specific praise describing: what he did, impact, why it matters.

Instead of "I want to run a marathon", say "I'm a runner" — identity drives behavior.

Don't target "$100K this year" — target "3 sales calls daily".

Each month, write 3 behaviors to start, 3 to stop, 3 to continue.

After hearing your partner, reflect back three sentences: content, feeling, and underlying value.

Frame your stance as: "When [behavior] I feel [feeling] because I need [value] and I request [ask]".

Write four sentences: Describe the behavior, Express the impact, Specify the change, Consequences.

Name your speaker's feeling and confirm it is reasonable, before you propose any solution.

Do not say "I know how you feel". Name the feeling with a precise word and verify it.

In tough confrontation: Describe-Express-Specify-Consequence — four sentences resolve.

3 conversations within every difficult one: "what happened", "feelings", "identity". Separate them and succeed.

Teach your child 50 feeling words (not just "sad": frustrated, hopeless, let-down, broken). Precision = regulation.

Identify 5 feelings that make you open phone. Per feeling, alternative plan pre-touch.