Inner critic isn't enemy — it's a terrified protector. Speak with curiosity.

Phone in closed drawer during deep work — not on desk.

When receiving triggering feedback, pause 6 seconds, then ask "tell me more".

Repeat the last three words your speaker said with curious tone; they will continue deeper without you asking.

After every answer, ask follow-up — doubles social liking 2x.

When acts oddly, ask "why did he do that?" with curiosity not critique.

Open with "I'm curious about X in your field" — dry chat turns into expertise exchange.

A magic question to thaw cold collegiality: "Tell me about [event/food/custom] in your culture".

Replace investigative "why?" questions with the invitation "tell me more" to open the story.

Swap "you're bad at math" with "what's happening here?" — Boaler proves the math brain is built, not born.