Listen to understand
Give the speaker time to finish. Briefly paraphrase what you heard and check whether you understood. Paraphrasing is not a trick to win agreement; it tests your understanding. The active listening guide offers a fuller exercise.
Make your request clear
Separate an observation from a judgement: “The reply arrived two days later” is more precise than “You ignore me.” Then make a request that can be answered: “Could we agree on a reply time?” The wording cannot guarantee a change in another person, but it makes your request easier to understand.
Read body language in context
Posture, gaze and tone may offer clues about how comfortable a conversation feels, but a single gesture cannot reveal someone's intentions or honesty. Ask what they mean instead of assigning a fixed meaning to one movement; culture, situation and individual differences matter. If you notice hesitation, “Is now a good time to continue?” is more useful than treating every silence as rejection.
Practise in a lower-stakes setting
Start with an everyday conversation rather than the most sensitive dispute. Try listening without solving, then review interruption, questions and requests. If hesitation is the barrier, read the confidence guide.
Practices linked to this guide
Frequently asked questions
Is listening the same as communication?
Is there one script that works with everyone?
Try a listening practice step by step