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The Post-Conflict Repair Protocol

After both calm down from a conflict, run a structured 4-question dialogue to close it for real, not superficially.

20 min Advanced

Goal

Close marital conflicts for real, preventing them from accumulating as deferred resentment.

Steps

  1. 1
    Wait until both heart rates calm (at least 20-30 min after a heated conflict).
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Expected Outcome

Immediate
Both feel genuine closure instead of a surface "let's move on".

Evidence base

School: Marital Research

Founders: John Gottman · Julie Gottman (2001)

Gottman — "After the Fight" post-conflict processing protocol prevents long-term "gridlock".

Keywords

Frequently asked questions

How long does "The Post-Conflict Repair Protocol" take?
This exercise takes about 20 minutes, practiced with another person in a Inner dialogue format.
When will I notice the effect of "The Post-Conflict Repair Protocol"?
Both feel genuine closure instead of a surface "let's move on". In the short term: Repeated arguments about the same topic drop significantly within two months.
Is "The Post-Conflict Repair Protocol" evidence-based?
Yes — it draws on Marital Research (John Gottman, Julie Gottman (2001)). Gottman — "After the Fight" post-conflict processing protocol prevents long-term "gridlock".
Is "The Post-Conflict Repair Protocol" suitable for beginners?
Its difficulty level is: Advanced. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.

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