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Shared Need Question

Deep in conflict, ask: "What is the shared need we are both trying to meet?"

18 min Advanced

Goal

Move from "your position vs mine" to "our needs together".

Steps

1

State your apparent position: "I want X".

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Expected Outcome

Immediate

You feel on the same team, not facing off.

Evidence base

School: NVC / Harvard Negotiation

Founders: Marshall Rosenberg · Roger Fisher · William Ury (1981)

Fisher & Ury — Getting to Yes: interests vs positions. Rosenberg — needs behind every position.

Frequently asked questions

How long does "Shared Need Question" take?

This exercise takes about 18 minutes, practiced with another person in a Inner dialogue format.

When will I notice the effect of "Shared Need Question"?

You feel on the same team, not facing off. In the short term: Solutions meeting the shared need last.

Is "Shared Need Question" evidence-based?

Yes — it draws on NVC / Harvard Negotiation (Marshall Rosenberg, Roger Fisher, William Ury (1981)). Fisher & Ury — Getting to Yes: interests vs positions. Rosenberg — needs behind every position.

Is "Shared Need Question" suitable for beginners?

Its difficulty level is: Advanced. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.

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