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Ask, Don't Tell: The Manage-Up Rule
When you need to influence your manager, don't tell them the solution. Ask a question leading them. Their ownership > yours.
Goal
Beat "convince manager of my idea" (which they instinctively resist) for helping them arrive themselves.
Steps
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1
Identify idea you want manager to support. Write in one specific sentence.
Expected Outcome
Immediate
Manager backs idea enthusiastically because it's "his". No resistance. Speed in execution.
Evidence base
School: Influence Without Authority
Founders: Allan Cohen · David Bradford · Edgar Schein (1991)
"Ask, don't tell" from Schein's "Humble Inquiry" (2013). Aligned with Cohen & Bradford's Influence Without Authority (1991).
Keywords
Frequently asked questions
How long does "Ask, Don't Tell: The Manage-Up Rule" take?
This exercise takes about 30 minutes, practiced with another person in a Inner dialogue format.
When will I notice the effect of "Ask, Don't Tell: The Manage-Up Rule"?
Manager backs idea enthusiastically because it's "his". No resistance. Speed in execution. In the short term: Within a month, manager says in exec meeting: "I suggested X to so-and-so". You smile quietly.
Is "Ask, Don't Tell: The Manage-Up Rule" evidence-based?
Yes — it draws on Influence Without Authority (Allan Cohen, David Bradford, Edgar Schein (1991)). "Ask, don't tell" from Schein's "Humble Inquiry" (2013). Aligned with Cohen & Bradford's Influence Without Authority (1991).
Is "Ask, Don't Tell: The Manage-Up Rule" suitable for beginners?
Its difficulty level is: Intermediate. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.
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