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Build a Hard Conversation with DESC
4 steps: Describe (situation), Express (impact), Specify (change), Consequences (outcomes).
Goal
Beat "where to start" paralysis in hard conversations via 4-step frame protecting relationship and outcome.
Steps
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1
Define conversation. Write person, behavior, impact frankly.
Expected Outcome
Immediate
You exit a conversation that scared you, in 15 min, with specific agreement. High achievement feeling.
Evidence base
School: Assertiveness Training / Social Learning Theory
Founders: Sharon Bower · Gordon Bower (1976)
Coined by Sharon & Gordon Bower (Stanford) in "Asserting Yourself" (1976). Used in management training programs since 1980. Documented by CCL in "Feedback That Works".
Keywords
Frequently asked questions
How long does "Build a Hard Conversation with DESC" take?
This exercise takes about 20 minutes, practiced with another person in a Inner dialogue format.
When will I notice the effect of "Build a Hard Conversation with DESC"?
You exit a conversation that scared you, in 15 min, with specific agreement. High achievement feeling. In the short term: Within a month, rejected behavior changes 70%. Because you were specific.
Is "Build a Hard Conversation with DESC" evidence-based?
Yes — it draws on Assertiveness Training / Social Learning Theory (Sharon Bower, Gordon Bower (1976)). Coined by Sharon & Gordon Bower (Stanford) in "Asserting Yourself" (1976). Used in management training programs since 1980. Documented by CCL in "Feedback That Works".
Is "Build a Hard Conversation with DESC" suitable for beginners?
Its difficulty level is: Intermediate. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.
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