After project/event, 4 questions: expected, actual, why, lesson for next time.

Repeat the same refusal in the same words calmly, no matter how the other person reshapes the pressure.

When he opens sensitive topic, say "tell me more" vs reply.

Satter's Division of Responsibility: you decide what/when/where, he decides how much and whether to eat.

Swap "you're bad at math" with "what's happening here?" — Boaler proves the math brain is built, not born.

At dinner, each family member shares his biggest mistake of the day — normalizes failure and reinforces growth mindset.