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Time-Limited Visit with Extended Family
Pre-decide a clear start and end time with yourself before any draining family visit.
Goal
Convert extended-family visits from open-ended drain into bearable experience by a time cap that preserves your energy without rupture.
Steps
-
1
Three days before, set an arrival hour and departure hour. Write them down.
Expected Outcome
Immediate
You leave with 60-70% energy instead of the usual 10-20% after open-ended visits.
Evidence base
School: Family Systems Therapy / Boundaries
Founders: Murray Bowen · Harriet Lerner (1978)
Murray Bowen's "differentiated self" supports family boundaries without rupture. Harriet Lerner adapted it for women in The Dance of Anger.
Keywords
Frequently asked questions
How long does "Time-Limited Visit with Extended Family" take?
This exercise takes about 8 minutes, practiced solo in a Behavioral format.
When will I notice the effect of "Time-Limited Visit with Extended Family"?
You leave with 60-70% energy instead of the usual 10-20% after open-ended visits. In the short term: Within 3 visits, relatives learn you come with love but leave on time.
Is "Time-Limited Visit with Extended Family" evidence-based?
Yes — it draws on Family Systems Therapy / Boundaries (Murray Bowen, Harriet Lerner (1978)). Murray Bowen's "differentiated self" supports family boundaries without rupture. Harriet Lerner adapted it for women in The Dance of Anger.
Is "Time-Limited Visit with Extended Family" suitable for beginners?
Its difficulty level is: Intermediate. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.
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