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Five Emotion-Coaching Steps

Apply Gottman's five steps: notice, see emotion as opportunity, listen, label, set limits and solve.

12 min Intermediate

Goal

Turn your child's emotional moment from conflict to teaching opportunity via five evidence-based steps.

Steps

1

Step 1 — Notice emotion early: catch facial and body cues before the explosion.

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Expected Outcome

Immediate

The episode ends in half the usual time, and the child hugs you at the end instead of withdrawing.

Evidence base

School: Emotion Coaching — Gottman

Founders: John Gottman · Lynn Katz (1997)

Gottman's five-step protocol from "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" built on a longitudinal study of 119 families.

Frequently asked questions

How long does "Five Emotion-Coaching Steps" take?

This exercise takes about 12 minutes, practiced with another person in a Inner dialogue format.

When will I notice the effect of "Five Emotion-Coaching Steps"?

The episode ends in half the usual time, and the child hugs you at the end instead of withdrawing. In the short term: Within three weeks, he starts asking "Mom help me calm" before escalating.

Is "Five Emotion-Coaching Steps" evidence-based?

Yes — it draws on Emotion Coaching — Gottman (John Gottman, Lynn Katz (1997)). Gottman's five-step protocol from "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" built on a longitudinal study of 119 families.

Is "Five Emotion-Coaching Steps" suitable for beginners?

Its difficulty level is: Intermediate. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.

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