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Repair After Rupture — The Accountability Protocol

A conscious repair that goes beyond apology — it examines the root of the reaction and changes the pattern, not just repeats it weekly.

15 min Advanced

Goal

Go beyond a quick apology after losing it with your child, by examining the personal root of the explosion and setting a plan to prevent recurrence — not just patching the relationship each time.

Steps

1

After you've apologized to your child and reconnected (no substitute for that immediate step), take time alone later that evening.

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Expected Outcome

Immediate

You discover a simple physical or situational cause you never linked to your reaction before.

Evidence base

School: Rupture-and-Repair + Reflective Functioning

Founders: Edward Tronick · Peter Fonagy · Shefali Tsabary (1989)

This exercise builds on Tronick's "Still Face" and Fonagy's "Reflective Functioning," adding a root-cause analysis and prevention layer inspired by Tsabary — conscious repair, not just a repeating automatic apology.

Frequently asked questions

How long does "Repair After Rupture — The Accountability Protocol" take?

This exercise takes about 15 minutes, practiced solo in a Written reflection format.

When will I notice the effect of "Repair After Rupture — The Accountability Protocol"?

You discover a simple physical or situational cause you never linked to your reaction before. In the short term: Within a month, the frequency of the same recurring explosions drops, since you addressed the cause, not just the result.

Is "Repair After Rupture — The Accountability Protocol" evidence-based?

Yes — it draws on Rupture-and-Repair + Reflective Functioning (Edward Tronick, Peter Fonagy, Shefali Tsabary (1989)). This exercise builds on Tronick's "Still Face" and Fonagy's "Reflective Functioning," adding a root-cause analysis and prevention layer inspired by Tsabary — conscious repair, not just a repeating automatic apology.

Is "Repair After Rupture — The Accountability Protocol" suitable for beginners?

Its difficulty level is: Advanced. No external tools required — it can be practiced directly inside the app.

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